The Sorrowful Kitsune
From where I came or how I arrived, no one knows. Living in this awful world for so long, my memory had been blurred, blocking out bits and pieces of my life that I hadn’t cared to remember. I gaze into the night sky, shedding tears of loneliness that turn into crystalline light, giving brightness to the dark world of night.
I sit on the shore, large paws as big as a mountain, donned with fierce claws, perpetually sharpened, crush anything in their wake. I resemble neither canine nor feline, but both. I howl at the luminescent moon, yet purr in the daylight warmth.
I’ve cried so many tears; the ocean seems full of the crystal light. The moon was forever full, floating in pure blackness of dark. It seemed as though I might have been its only company, though others also sang to my moon.
My fur kept me warm, and was cream in color. My reflection though, is ghastly, staring back at me day by day. Pointed ears on the top of my head were filled with notches and scars I don’t remember receiving. Wicked teeth spilled out my mouth, stuck forever in a ghoulish grin. Even sharper then my claws, frightening to any creature whose gaze is unfortunate enough to fall upon them, including mine.
My eyes seemed to be made out of the sun; red as blood, yet rimmed with the blackness of sky at night. Demonic eyes that send chills down even my spine. Thick and soft, marked with black as were my paws, my tail, had since split into nine, though I do not recall how. Like day and night mixed into one being.
I couldn’t go anywhere, afraid of destroying creatures of nature. My being is far too large for this land, and sometimes I take to water, though not even whales compare in size. Everything that sees me runs in fear, save for the everlasting moon, always faithful, always bright. Seeming to pass day after another as only one of its simplicity can.
The sun is harsh to gaze upon, and burns my ears if not hidden. Almost nowhere can I go to escape its fury. Clouds choke the air around me, almost thick enough to bite. And it’s tempting, but I don’t, for fear of capturing a bird or some other such creature in my frightening jaws. So I keep them closed. Afraid to even lick my bleeding paws clean, constantly reopening wounds on trees and rocks, reef and thorns. They hurt at first, but the pain dulled as the wounds reopened again and again. Filling with salt and debris.
Every night I cry till dawn, of sorrow and pain and the act of simply being so isolated from anything in the world, that every beat of my heart seems hollow and bitter. A sound that can be felt for miles. This heartbeat is comforting though, for I can’t control it, almost like another being within me. I long to run and lick my wounds clean. Sleep without the fear of crushing anything, room to stretch every muscle, every sinew. Sigh without chasing off the clouds.
I long to yawn and laugh, walk and sit and not be feared for my appearance. I do not ask for love or power, simply those things that are given to every creature. But most of all, I don’t want to be so alone…
“Come stay with me” the moon said one day.
“There’s room to be free.
“You can lick your feet
“Taste things sweet
“Not worry of sorrow:
“For there’s always tomorrow.
“Here you can run
“Together we’ll chase the sun!
“No one is near
“To be frightened of you here.
“Let your wounds heal,
“Let your body feel.
“I will always be your friend,
“From now until the end.”
My heart filled with happiness as I ascended to the sky, to do all I wanted, and so much more. And from then on, I only cried tears of happiness, and called them stars.